Nightmares
by BlazeThorn
Summary: Baz does something wrong. Simon forgives him, but can he forgive himself? SnowBaz. Angsty and depressing
1. Chapter 1

**SIMON**

It's the middle of the night and Baz is having a nightmare. He thrashes around in the bed. I try to ease him to face me, hoping to wake him up. In his sleep, he grabs my arm. He bites me. Baz. Bites. Me.

The venom courses through my veins, I can feel it. I tuck my arm into myself. I can't tell Baz. That's my last thought before I black out, pain overtaking my system.

 **BAZ**

Snow is asleep when I wake up. I wonder how he managed to sleep through my thrashing. My dream was terrible. It was one of my typical ones where I'm reliving the moment I became a vampire. This was different. Simon was there. He died in my dream while I frantically tried to save him.

I brush his hair out of his eyes before leaving the room. I go to the kitchen and begin to make breakfast.

Snow comes down soon, wearing a sweatshirt and rubbing his arm. I smile at him, then I notice his smell. It's… different. It isn't normal.

"Is everything alright?" I ask. "You smell weird."

Panic crosses his face, but he tries to hide it by faking confusion. "Hmm. That's odd." he says calmly.

"You're a terrible liar, Snow. What is it?" I demand.

He hesitates, then he pulls up his sleeve. I cringe slightly as I smell blood. There are two little marks on his arm.

"What am I looking at?" I ask.

"A bite."

 **SIMON**

Baz's eyes widen as my words process. He freezes. I reach out, but he quickly backs away.

"I… I hurt you?" Baz whimpers. His voice strengthens slightly, "I _turned_ you?"

"I'm not hurt." I lie. "I didn't feel anything."  
"Liar!" He spits. I can tell he is disgusted with himself. "What happened? Tell me the truth."

"You were having a nightmare. I tried to wake you up. You freaked and, in your sleep, bit me. I fell unconscious, but I'm fine. Now I'm like you." I explain.

"You mean a monster?" Baz spits.

"Baz," I sigh, reaching for him again.

He flinches but let's me touch his face. I stroke his cheek.

 **BAZ**

What is he doing?! I bit him! I fucking bit him and he's acting like I'm the best thing in his life.

"I love you, Baz. Nothing you can do changes that." he murmurs.

"Do you even understand what I did? Aleister Crowley, Snow, you should be disgusted by me." I snap, finally managing to look at him.

He watches me with a small smile. "I've wanted to be like you since we started dating." he admits. "Now I am."

Then his lips crash into mine. I try to turn away, but now Snow is just as strong as me. If not, stronger. He won't let me pull away.

"Snow. Stop it." I say.

He pulls back, saying, "You've called me Simon before."

It's a little game between us. He wants me to say that I haven't. I won't humour him this time. Instead, I pull away and look at the stove. Great. My eggs are burning.

 **SIMON**

Baz walks to the stove without answering me. It breaks my heart. His face is pale, even for him. He takes the frying pan and dumps the contents into the trash. I just watch him. He's really upset.

"When I lost my magic, you said you could turn me into a vampire. Now you have. So what's wrong?" I ask.

"That was a joke! I didn't mean it!" He snarls. "Everything is wrong. I might as well just killed you. I have actually. Now you're dead just like me. Soulless. Lost. Always bloody hungry."

"Well I was already always hungry." I try to joke.

He glares at me. "I suppose I better go hunting." He mutters. "I'll bring back enough for both of us."

He leaves. I want to cry, but I won't. I don't want Baz to come back and see me a mess.

 **BAZ**

I hunt quickly before running back to the house. I see Bunce in the window. She smiles at me. I frown in return. Worry fills her features. I enter the house and she immediately comes to meet me.

"What's wrong? You seem upset." she says. Then she notices Snow. "Simon! You look so pale! Is everything okay?" she grabs his hand then quickly drops it. "You're as cold as ice, too. You need a hospital!"

"No! I'm fine." Snow quickly objects.

"No you are not fine!" I yell, losing my temper. They both look at me in shock. "Snow, you should be appalled by me! You should kick me out! You're too fucking noble for your own good."

"What happened?" Bunce demands, but the look on her face tells me she suspects.

"I bit him. I _turned_ him. He doesn't care." I snap. "He doesn't care that I hurt him."

"YOU ARSE!" Bunce screams.

She attacks. I could easily overpower her, but I am too filled with self-loathing. So I let her attack me. Then she is flung backwards. Crowley, Snow. She lands with a thud, but quickly stands again, face furious.

"Don't." Snow snaps. "Penny, it's fine."

"Stop saying that, Snow! Why don't you understand what I've done to you? How can you be okay with me?" I say. Then I break down crying.

 **SIMON**

I sit on the floor next to him. I look up at Penny. "I'll be fine. Can you give us some space?"

She looks pissed, but she leaves.

"Crowley, Snow. How can you still want me?" Baz mumbles.

He looks up and points to the animals he brought in. "Help yourself."

I feel my new fangs come out as I look at the animals. I grab one and drain it, my thirst, for the moment, quenched. I turn to Baz. He's still refusing to look at me, but the tears have slowed. I kiss his cheek but receive no reaction.

"What have I done?" he whispers.

"You've made me just like you. Now I can understand. Now we're equals."

"Maybe, but you had to step down to be with me." Baz retorts.

I turn him to face me. "I am in love with you, Tyrannus Basilton Grimm-Pitch. And I will never let you go."

 **BAZ**

"You're insane." I spit.

Then he's kissing me.

But my Simon is gone. No more warmth. No more rosy cheeks that I love to make redder. No more heart beating under my ear while I rest my head on his chest.

"You're crying again." Snow whispers, pulling away.

"I always knew one day one of us would kill the other." I manage to say. "I just hoped it wasn't so."

"I'm still alive." he protests.

"Not really." I mutter.

Snow grabs my hand, pulls me up, and leads me to his room. He lies down in the bed and motions me to come next to him. I do, but reluctantly. He strokes my hair.

Soon he falls asleep. Without waking him, I get up and go to Bunce's room. She opens the door and glares at me silently.

"Kill me." I beg.

Shock is written on her face. "What?!"

"I hurt him. I can't live with myself knowing that. I know you hate me for it. Please kill me. Or I'll kill myself." I plead.

"No." she refuses.

"But you hate me." I protest.

"Baz, don't you dare." I hear Snow say behind me.

I slowly turn.

 **SIMON**

The look on Baz's face. He's ashamed. He's angry. He won't meet my eyes.

"You die, I follow." I say. "That's a promise."

"Snow," he sighs. "Why don't you get it?"

"Call me Simon." I insist.

"But you're not Simon anymore. Not _my_ Simon." he mutters. "My Simon was warm and colorful, and wasn't dead!"

"Baz," I whisper.

"Bunce, keep him safe."

"Don't you dare hurt yourself!" I snap.

"Fine! I won't. But I'm not staying here either." he says. "I can't live with myself. I can't deal with reliving my mistake every day. This is permanent and I can't stand to see you dead."

"I can't deal with waking up to an empty bed every morning because the love of my life ran away over a silly mistake." I retort.

"Silly?" his gray eyes flash. "Are you really that dense?"

"Baz," I step towards him.

"Goodbye, Snow." Then he's gone.

 **BAZ**

As soon as I'm out the door, I sneak into the alley next to his house. A flame flickers above my fingers. I can't deal with Snow being like me. I find an abandoned can of spray paint. It's not quite empty. I use it. The fire dances closer to my hand.

 **SIMON**

Suddenly, the smell of smoke drifts towards me. I'm immediately unfrozen and I race to the window. Outside is a pile of ash. Baz's clothing are burning on top.

I sprint downstairs and grab a jar from my kitchen. I scoop up as much ash as I can and shovel it into the jar. I'm crying. Everything hurts.

Then I smell something else. Something strong; something with chemicals. I turn my head and see it. On my house there's spray paint.

'TBGP loves SOS always'

 **BAZ**

I watch Snow as he collects the ash he thinks is me. He sees my note and the tears fall faster. Bunce runs out and sees me.

'Please.' I mouth.

She nods solemnly before moving towards Simon.

"Goodbye, Simon Snow." I murmur. "I'm sorry."

I turn and walk away.

 **PENELOPE**

I want to tell Simon that Baz is still alive. I don't. I just comfort him as he cries his eyes out. I lead him back inside.

He puts his jar of ash on the dresser next to a photo of him and Baz. It's one of his favorites. One of mine, too. It's a candid shot I took of them as they smile at each other and hold hands in their favorite cafe.

Simon picks up a camera, Baz's camera, from the floor. The first picture sends Simon back into tears. I take the camera. It's a picture of Simon asleep while Baz holds him, kissing him on the forehead. They look so peaceful.

I leave the room and immediately text Baz. _Will you ever tell him?_

It's a few minutes before I get a response. _Just take care of him. He'll get over me. I trust you, Penelope._

Then he sends me a video. _It's Baz smiling in Simon's room. "I'm so excited! I can't tell anyone, not yet, so I'm just recording myself. Simon Snow is the love of my life. I'm waiting for his birthday, then I'm going to propose." he holds up and shakes a little black box. "Simon if you're watching this, I love you! I can hardly wait!"_

The next text: _check the bottom drawer of his dresser._

Then he goes silent.

I go back into Simon's room.

"Simon, before he… left, Baz told me something." I murmur, cringing inwardly for lying to my best friend.

"What?" Simon asks desperately.

"Check the bottom drawer."

He dives towards the dresser, jerks open the drawer, and digs through it. He stops suddenly. He pulls out the black box and opens it. A ring. A plain, gold band. Simon slides it on and holds his hand to his chest.

"I love you Baz. I would've said yes." he murmurs.

He refuses to get off the floor. He falls asleep, there, crying. I sigh. Simon is a vampire, Baz is gone. This is a mess.

 **BAZ**

I love you Simon Snow. But please, forget about me. It's better this way.


	2. Chapter 2

So I was thinking about the prophecy in Carry On: "And one will come to end us. And one will bring his fall"

What if the Mage is the one who will come to end the world of Mages. After all, he DID create Simon and by extension, the Humdrum. And Simon killed the Mage.!


End file.
